A few days ago, on Saturday, I spent the whole day with my son, Judah, who is about to be a year old on 11th March. We had an incredible day together, I made him breakfast, we played with his toys, we went for lunch, dropped by to see Oli, who was working in a cafe, did a bit of clothes shopping, then I made him his dinner, then bathed him and then, while he was in the bath, I realized how absolutely exhausted I was. Not just from that day, but it had been accumulating over a period of time.

Oli came home and I made a big mistake, I chose to communicate with him in that moment that I felt exhausted, when my mood had temporarily dropped. I asked Oli what had stopped him thinking about me and maybe coming home at 6 o’clock, instead of 6.30, so that he could play with Judah for half an hour and I could have half an hour to myself to chill out before we went out to friends for dinner.

I know well enough that moods come and go, so in that moment I could have said nothing and let it pass, instead Oli was upset with me, which is actually the last thing that I wanted. He, of course, gave me the half an hour I needed, which he would have given me anyway if I had said, while in a good mood, ‘Darling, so great to see you. Do you mind taking care of Judah for 30 minutes while I put my feet up and read on the bed?”

After the 30 minutes was over, my mood had changed, (yes, moods are like the weather,) and I got up and put Judah to bed. As we were getting ready to go out, I said “Oli I have to apologize to you, I have had a fantastic day today with Judah and had one moment when I felt tired and in that moment I chose to communicate with you and I apologize, I should have said nothing and let my mood pass. So please accept my apology. We have a rule in our house, when someone says “sorry” the other one accepts it immediately, so we can move on. So of course he did.

Thoughts come and go, as do moods, which are affected by our thoughts, so if you can hold back communicating when your mood is low, it can really help your relationship. Sophie x